Abuse victim cycle # 17 5/31/15
Truth be told, this subject is personal to me. I’ve lived through sexual abuse, mental abuse and substance abuse. Life now is not perfect, but every day is far better now than I had ever hoped for.
The majority of “treatment” today consists of logical suggestions from indoctrinated personal based on half-truths presented by people minimizing their issues. Symptoms are addressed through medications or more “sessions”. The causal factors are seldom looked into and without doing so; the issues can never be resolved.
Research into this subject led to a great deal of information on identifying personalities to avoid or “what to be on the lookout for,” as far as other’s behaviors. It took some digging to find information for those already affected. Most sources suggest working on the “shadow self”, basically working through the pain and uncomfortable feelings hidden within the sub-conscious mind, too mentally and physically break free of the victim cycle. Everyone seems to agree that the “just get over it” mentality, ignoring the situation or forgetting then suppressing – will result in more prolonged issues. In the case of suppression, it will inevitably lead to manifested illnesses, physical ailments and / or disease.
It has been said that most people would rather do anything else than to look at themselves. Without doing this action, living in denial, blaming others, minimizing, stuck in a subjective state of mind becomes the new normal. Life becomes a great illusion and habitual ways of acting and reacting develop as the personal essence disappears. The only “feelings” arise when one dwells on dissatisfactions: thinking about what we want or don’t have. Facing the issues hidden within the subconscious is the only way to recover the mind. This is a concept that is found within all the “mystery schools”- in other words it has been known since the beginning of time, yet few are aware of this. Freud and Jung both studied the ancient knowledge and today’s psychology is a censored version of their works (which were intentionally skewed) and other’s.
It is slowly being learned that most of today’s society is dealing with parental abandonment trauma. We have been taught to associate “abandonment” with physical presence being absent, but the truth is that it encompasses far more. More damage seems to occur when the parent is physically present, but not mentally. As a simple example; think of a time when during a conversation the person you were speaking to abruptly began talking with another, answered a phone call, began texting or some other action. The conscious mind feels abandonment which the subconscious takes in and creates an association and a block. Although you may present externally “it doesn’t bother me” it festers within. Take that feeling and multiply it several fold over many days, weeks or years. Eventually the point comes when avoiding conversations will be chosen over the chance of feeling unimportant. This occurs with not only the two involved, but can also encompass one who witnesses the action- and is similar with all “types” under the umbrella term of abuse. The experiencer or experiencers then according to the abuse- victim cycle will identify with either the abuser or victim perpetuating the cycle. In other words they decide that they never want to experience abuse again so they will become the aggressor, or they realize that the behavior is morally wrong and choose to absorb the abuse in hopes of keeping others from being targets. In both cases denial and willful ignorance overcomes the individual.
There is a narrow path in the middle where help can be received by obtaining knowledge of the situation and causal factors, willpower, and care of self. Mark Passio gives a pretty good breakdown on his podcast 147 beginning 34 minutes in.
The video series by Melanie Tonia Evans “Narcissistic Abuse- How it occurs & How to Overcome it” is the best presentation I’ve seen that deals with the causal factors within one’s mind and solutions to break the cycle.
Ms. Evans explains: 1. that the victim is dealing with emotional trauma, making logical solutions ineffective; 2. How the neurons of the brain become addicted to negative peptides which keeps one in a cycle of rehashing the situation; 3. The fact that most people are led to believe that talking about the pain, going over the pain and receiving some logical solutions as to “what to do” will help.
It will not
She details that all this does is create more thoughts, leading to more peptide manufacturing and more hardwiring of the cyclical addiction to the action. This can happen for years, literally driving one crazy- unless dealt with.
In the third part of her series, she presents her solution to begin the healing process to bring closure to the entire situation. I highly recommend taking the time to watch this video series.
LINKS: Inquiring One Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwsgax52vUfNJt7QaiZacdg
Melanie Tonia Evans (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg7DtfY8BCk&list=PLeoxHYnKu6R7YdWwyRqhz1bmUU5t_tBbB
Carl Jung: The self; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAPyRryK1HY
Shadow Projection; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMHqqXYaB8g
Man and his symbols; www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIz5P3zketE&list=PL_oVZUIMhZs3jiWKfiqdCZMSYAUnY2igq
Michael Tsarion: The selfhood path; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ny6VyTMaekI
The self, outsider and guilt complex; www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0HYrxCf8NY
The Narcissist: Psychology of Demons; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-HLNJUWRw8
Humanity’s Hardcore Intervention with Mark Passio — Abuse-Victim Cycle Explained https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4XG9x5EFLw&list=PLABSIjCHNIaUwaSGPM0mwctJ1bSre82so&index=2 Mark Passio # 147 (34 min in) www.whatonearthishappening.com (under the podcast tab.)
Trauma, Abuse, Victims, Suffering and Psychopathy by Kris Nelson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eCjw6dhjiA
Neuroscientist Carl Hart; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzupwJDje_4
Just a note: #16
For those of you whom are regular readers, I apologize for the hiatus in my writings.
Spring planting, research, and dealing with everyday life in these “Azzholian times,” have left me with little time for writing.
I have and am still in the process of developing a YouTube site which may provide a better or at least offer a second avenue for folks to find information supporting subjects which are addressed.
This can be accessed via You Tube under “Inquiring One”
I will do my best to get back to the weekly postings beginning in June.
Thank you for reading and please pass the information on,